Tears of Joy

Today I dropped the kids off with a good friend and headed to Zombieland a.k.a. Atlanta. I hit up Starbucks first as all good road trips should begin and I braved the traffic (and thankfully did not encounter too many zombies). Let me digress for a moment and just tell you right now-if you ever have to go to the city for anything please take MARTA. OK. That is my good advice for today. You're welcome.

My first stop was the Clerk of Superior Court to have our home study certified and then it was off to the Secretary of State. BTW good ol' Brian Kemp has way too many addresses. But eventually I made it to the correct building with no thanks to Google.

Upon entering the suite I was greeted by a very lovely receptionist who told me to hand over all my precious documents that have taken me months to gather, notarize and certify. She then told me to sit in the waiting room while they tirelessly checked each one and then (if they were correct) would officially place Georgia's Great Seal on them. With my heart beating out of my chest, I sat in silence for awhile waiting for her to come back . In moments like these we are prone to panic-which is exactly what I did as I considered any misstep that may have caused one of my documents to be deemed invalid.
Then I heard loud sounding booms coming from the other room and broke into tears. I knew right away my documents were being stapled to the blue folders! With every staple more tears flowed.
She then brought my documents for me to look over and gave me a hug saying "Oh honey, it is all good. It is all GOOD!". I thanked her for her kindness and she wished us well on our adoption.
I then speed to photocopy everything, went to the bank to get a cashiers check for the consulate, and went to FedEx to overnight express everything to a courier in Houston, Texas. Our package should arrive by 10:30am tomorrow and hopefully will go to the Chinese Consulate the same day. Once there they will receive the Chinese "stamp of approval" and can then be sent to China.

This has been a long crazy road. It is not done yet. But I feel like we are half way there. There is light at the end of this tunnel and my son is standing on the other side.

His mercies are new every morning

I have struggled with how to update this blog. There is so much to say, and yet so much to hold back so bear with me here.
This past month has been a roller coaster of love, pain, joy and grief.  Many events that I can't even relive right now. But in everything, the good and the bad, I see the Lord's hand guiding, I may not understand or even comprehend his plan but I know he is there. He has reminded me so clearly that I am his and he is my provider. Garrick is his and he will care for him. Steven and I have held on to one another and that promise. No matter what happens with our adoption it is all from, to and through God's hands.

He abundantly blessed our yard sale bringing in more than I could have imagined- more than I dared ask or pray for. And our garage is still full! He is good.
We tried to do it again the next week, but I was worn and weary with other things going on in our life. I was heartbroken and laid low, he knew I could not emotionally handle the sale that day and as I cried out in the early hours of the morning he let the rain fall. All I could do was cry out thankful for his mercy pouring down on me that day. He is good.

That same week both our cars decided to give out on us. But the day before it happened we were given another car by a sweet friend to sell and put towards the adoption or keep if we needed it. Our cars are still broken but it is OK because God provided.  He is good.

I was grieving hard for our Son one morning and in my email came an update with his beautiful face. It was like God was saying to me "See honey, it's OK. I got this baby girl". He is good.

Thus it has been the past month for our family, God continues to show up in the darkness and shine a light. Someday God will make all this brokenness beautiful, but right now he is going to satisfy everything in the mean time.

Prayers for Garrick

We learned today that Garrick was recently hospitalized. We were not told why just that he is doing better. Please, dear friends lift him up in prayer. Pray that we will be able to go to him quickly. We need our home study completed, our medical expedite approved, and that we will raise the money needed to get him.
Thank You.

Break My Heart For What Breaks Yours

I did not grow up around many adopted kids. My exposure to orphans or the idea of adoption was very minimal. Of course, I was aware there were children who were abandoned or who had no parents but I didn't know any of them personally. I saw the TV ads for sponsoring the poor-malnourished-child with the flies on his face but my only thought was "how sad". It was not a concern in my life. It did not truly effect me.

In 2010, Steven and I went on a mission trip to Haiti and we worked with orphans. Being with those kids was heart-changing. They were in my life, I was privy to be allowed entry into their hardships and brokenness. I was there to witness the fear the rain would bring for the children who lost their families in the hurricanes. To listen to the teen-aged orphan's desire for a "regular" family. These children tore down the walls of my heart and from that moment I knew I would never be the same.  I could no longer just think "how sad". Now it was personal.

Since then I knew I wanted to adopt and provide a home to a child who needed it. To give love and grace to a child who was rejected, cast out, and abandoned. To give them a name and an identity. To walk in that brokenness day to day with them. Because isn't that what Christ did for me? Isn't he walking with me in my brokenness?

I pray that if you do not yet have a broken heart for orphans you would ask God to give it to you. Ask him to break your heart for the things that break his. Ask him to make it personal in your life. He has done the same for you. He took your title as "Orphan, Sinner, Untouchable, Outcast, Unlucky, Deformed, Special-Need" adopted you as his own and gave you his name. Ask him to help you be the hands and feet of Jesus.

Give Reviving

Though Garrick lives at Maria's Big House Of Hope we are not allowed to contact them directly to request any updates or information.  Any updates we get on him can only come from China's Welfare department and given to our agency to pass along to us. We get one update every 4 months. I know that sounds crazy but it is what it is and there is no fighting it.

I usually look at Show Hope's facebook page everyday just to check and see if they have posted an update of the kids at Maria's. I scour the pictures looking for the face that I know and love. There had been no pictures of Garrick since Easter. Then today I saw 3 new ones of him at one of the children's birthday parties!

  They were posted last week and I missed them! How did that happen? The only reason I can come up with is that God in his goodness and mercy knew that I would need them THIS week. He knew this week I would be worn and weary, sad, and weak. He knows my heart. He is a good and loving father and continues to bless and restore my soul.

Father for Thy, promised blessing,
Still we plead before Thy throne
For the times of, sweet refreshing,
Which can come from Thee alone
Blessed earnests, Thou hast given,
But in these we would not rest
Blessings still with, Thee are hidden,
Pour them forth and make us blest!

Let no people be forgotten,
Let Thy showers on all descend
That in one loud blessed anthem,
Millions may in triumph blend
Give reviving, give refreshing,
Give the looked-for Jubilee
To Thyself may, crowds be pressing,
Bringing glory unto Thee

In the waiting

There are many things about the adoption process that is stressful but I think the waiting is the worst part.
The waiting to be matched to your future child. Why did it take a year for China to put Garrick's file together? I said to our agency last year "He is already three years old!" Now he is four and I pray that he will not turn 5 without us. God, why so long?

The waiting for paperwork to come from one place just to send it off to another, then wait for it to come back to send off again. Every day the mailbox holds joy or disappointment.

Nothing moves fast enough. In two more months we can request an update on how he is doing. TWO MONTHS. Two more months I will wait to see how they are caring for my child half way around the world.

Busy. Stay busy. Nothing assuages the sense of urgency that builds in my heart day after day.

But when all that is done, and in the quiet hours during the night, I know I am helpless. There is no office I can call, postal truck to wait for, or children to care for. I cannot handle this myself.

It is in these times that I need to remind myself of who the Lord is. His character does not change regardless of how I feel or what my circumstances may be.

Who knows the mind of our God? 

Who can bring counsel to him? 

For from him, through him and to him is everything.

HE holds my life in his hand and has chosen this exact time to allow our adoption to proceed or to stall. Too many events have taken place to confirm that. I know without a shadow of a doubt that he has planned and orchestrated this from the beginning and it will all be on HIS timing and not mine. Who am I to think my time is better?

HE holds my son who is half a world away when I cannot. He is his eternal father and loves him just as fiercely as I do. Who am I to worry?

HE is the Provider. Who am I to presume I can do it myself? Who am I to worry about money, health or time?

In Christ alone my hope is found;
He is my light, my strength, my song;
This cornerstone, this solid ground,
Firm through the fiercest drought and storm.
What heights of love, what depths of peace,
When fears are stilled, when strivings cease!
My comforter, my all in all—
Here in the love of Christ I stand.

It is in these times of waiting when I know that I need him fully and completely. These are the times he is using to do a good work in me. Though the waiting is hard it will be good. Pray for us, dear friends, to fight the good fight and continue to draw near to him while we wait.

A sweet surprise

Yesterday we received some hard copies of our adoption documents including pictures. Gus was so excited to put Garrick's picture in a frame.

Right away he ran to our dining room and placed the picture with our other family photos.

"Garrick is my brother! He needs to be with us." I agree.