To our precious friends & family,

To our precious friends & family,

We are overjoyed at God’s grace, but we also realize this will be a season of adjustment for our family. We know that each of you reading this letter has– in some way– supported, loved and prayed for us. Many of you have expressed how excited you are to meet him. Because we know your care for Garrick and our family, we want to share with you some information that we hope will best equip everyone around him to assist us in laying the strongest and healthiest foundation – emotionally, physically and spiritually. In many ways, Garrick will be like the children who entered our family through birth; we will seek to bring all of them up in the instruction and discipline of the Lord. However, there will be a few, initial differences in the way we have parented in the past. Because you will play a vital role in helping Garrick settle in, heal, and lay a foundation for the future, there are a few important areas in which you can help us:

• The first is to set physical boundaries. We cannot WAIT to see some of you at the airport when we arrive home!!! Keep in mind... It is imperative adults limit what is typically considered normal, physical contact with Garrick. This will (for a while) include things like holding, hugging and kissing. Children from orphanage and foster care settings are prone to attach too easily to anyone and everyone – which hinders the important, primary relationship with parents. Waving, blowing kisses or high fives are perfectly appropriate and very welcomed! Garrick should know that the people with whom he interacts are our trusted family and friends. He is going to love each and every one of you! 

• Another area is redirecting Garrick’s desire to have his physical and emotional needs met by anyone (including strangers) to having Mommy & Daddy meet those needs. Orphans often have so many caretakers that they, as a survival mechanism, become overly charming toward all adults. A child struggling to learn to attach may exhibit indiscriminate affection with people outside of their family unit. It may appear harmless and as if they are “very friendly” but this is actually something that isn’t good for the child. But until he has a firm understanding of family and primary attachments, we would be so grateful if you direct him to us if you see that he is seeking out food, drink, affection, or comfort. 

• You will notice that Garrick will probably have a snack of some kind with him. It is imperative that you NEVER take food or drink from Garrick. If he is in a place where he cannot have his snack, please come get Steve or me, and we will deal with it. Children who grow up in orphanages usually have issues with food since withholding food is sometimes used as a discipline tool. Many of these children have grown up not knowing when their next meal will be given to them. Food is security and we want to make sure we are providing him with as much security as possible. 

We are confident of this: God’s design is perfect. His plan for parents and children is a beautiful and meaningful picture of His love for us. Attachment between a parent and child occurs over time when a baby has a physical or emotional need and communicates that need. The primary caretaker (usually mommy) meets the need and soothes the child. This repeats between a parent and child over and over to create trust within the child for that parent; the baby is hungry, cries in distress, mom nurses & calms the baby – which teaches him that this person is safe and can be trusted. By God’s very design, an emotional foundation is laid affecting their learning, conscience, growth and future relationships. The security provided by parents will, ultimately, give children a trust for and empathy towards others.

Children who come home through adoption have experienced interruptions in this typical attachment process. The loss of a biological mother and father at an early age can be a major trauma on their little hearts. Garrick has experienced the loss of familiar and comforting caretakers as well as the sights, smells, and language of his birth country. When Garrick comes home, he will very likely be overwhelmed. Everything around him will be new and he will need to learn not just about his new environment, but also about love and family. He has not experienced God’s design for a family having lived in an orphanage & foster care setting. His world is turned upside down. He may struggle with feeling safe and secure, and he may lack the ability to trust that we will meet his needs. The good news is that we can now, as Garrick’s parents and forever family, rebuild attachment and help him heal from these emotional wounds.

The best way for us to form a parent/child bond is to be the ones to hold, snuggle, instruct, soothe and feed him. As this repeats between us, he will be able to learn that Mom and Dad are safe to trust and to love deeply. We are, essentially, recreating the newborn/parent connection. Once Garrick starts to establish this important bond, he will then be able to branch out to other, healthy relationships. Garrick will have, what may seem like, a lot of structure, boundaries, and close proximity to us. Although it may appear that we are spoiling him at times, we have been advised that it is best that we meet every need quickly and consistently. Please know that these decisions are prayerfully and thoughtfully made choices based on our personal research and instruction from trusted adoption educators and mentors. We will be doing what we believe is best to help him heal from those interruptions in attachment as effectively as possible. He may show his grief and confusion in many ways, and we are prepared to help him through it and prove that we are a forever family. You may also notice us tighten our circle a bit, stay close to home, and we may seem a little less available socially, for a while, maybe even months. 

Please feel free to ask us any questions at any time. We are learning too and are grateful that you are seeking with us to help Garrick feel loved, safe, and secure. Thank you so much for your love and support through this process so far. We are so truly blessed!

We look forward to seeing all of you when we return!
Blessings,

Steven & Christa

Have Courage and Be Kind...

I loved this tag line from the live-action adaption of Cinderella. I love seeing little girls with shirts bearing the phrase. I applauded Disney for finally giving our girls more than "A dream is a wish your heart makes" or "Dreams do come true".

Often times, when I talk to Gus about having courage and being brave he will say "But, Mommy i'm sacred!" and I would say to him, "Being brave means doing something you know is right, even when you are scared". It is easy to say this to our children or to others, but not so easy when we ourselves are faced with our own scary situations.

We live in a broken world and often our dreams do not come true. The Grimm brothers got it right, not Disney. And this is a reality that we need to teach our children. So what happens when you are called to something that is hard? When the journey is filled with pain and adversity and the people that you think will be your support system are not? This is where Disney got it right: "Have Courage and Be Kind".

Many times in my own walk I do not behave with the obedience of Abraham or the devotion of Job. I behave more like the Cowardly Lion than the courageous Aslan. But that is OK.

It's OK to be scared, what matters is doing what is right. Just yesterday, my good friend Jeni reminded me of this when I told her how much anxiety and fear I have been dealing with surrounding our adoption. And her words were a balm to my soul.

"I'm sure you're scared. It's a huge deal. But you're right just to tell yourself to be brave---you can't be brave without being scared! So really it's perfect, right?... I can imagine all of the details can make you feel inadequate but I really believe that in some situations, love is all you need. This has been planned out for you to accomplish and you have Christ's light in you. He will fill in the gaps."

Isn't that the truth! It reminded me of when Moses was commanded by God to speak but due to his speech impediment he argued with God:

"Then Moses said to the LORD, "Please, Lord, I have never been eloquent, neither recently nor in time past, nor since You have spoken to Your servant; for I am slow of speech and slow of tongue." The LORD said to him, "Who has made man's mouth? Or who makes him mute or deaf, or seeing or blind? Is it not I, the LORD?…"

Moses was brave and yet he was scared. He did as God instructed and God worked in a way he did not anticipate by using his brother Aaron to be his mouth. God filled in the gaps.


God continues to fill in the gaps for our adoption. Most of the time he waits until the last minute...but isn't that the way he always does things? He called us to this and we have obeyed even with much fear, anxiety and trepidation. Even when we didn't see the way, he has met every need. And his plan is beautiful. God designed this story as a tapestry with many many threads all intertwined. We didn't have a pattern to follow or a list of instructions. We only have faith and courage in the ONE who does.

Our story is not over because really it is just beginning. I'm scared. I'm scared to fly across the ocean, to be away from my other children. I'm scared to meet my new son and watch him hurt and grieve. I'm scared that he will not like me. That sounds trite, I know... but it is a fear. There are a lot of fears and most of them are things I cannot control. So I keep reminding myself:

Be Brave, Have Courage and Be Kind. God will do the rest.

Planning to travel!

So things are heating up here! With the news of our travel dates we are in full travel mode preparation. I spent all day yesterday emailing back and forth with the travel agency to work out details for our plane tickets. We have to use an agency since Garrick does not have a US passport number yet. They are still not locked in so please pray we will get something that works well for us.

As far as money goes, we are still gathering funds. We will have to pay for all our hotels and in-country flights this week. I learned yesterday that we may not be able to use our hotel points as they have blacked out the week we are supposed to be at our Marriott hotel. This is now an extra $2000 we were not expecting to have to pay out of pocket since we planned on using all our points. So I'll be on the phone with them today trying to see if something can open up for us. It's all very stressful stuff.

God has worked everything out perfectly so far and I have to let go of my tendency to want to control every detail. It is hard for me to do this since I spend my days making plans, writing up lists and calculating outcomes. Being a nurse, I am constantly looking at the clock determining what I need to do next. I'm just hardwired that way.
The Lord continues to be gracious to me by giving me opportunities to grow =)

Please continue to pray for us that all the little details will come together accordingly. We are so excited to go get our son. This time next month we will be home with all THREE of our children!

Promise 686

We will be leaving for China in just a few short weeks; but we are still short $10,000 of travel and in country expenses. But there is good news!


Promise686 (www.promise686.org), a ministry of Perimeter Church, has graciously given us a Matching Grant of $4,000 to help bring Garrick home! If you would like to be a part of God bringing Garrick to Himself through our family, you can send your tax-deductible gift to the address below or on-line. Your donations will be matched by Promise686 on a $1-for-$1 basis up to $4000. That means we will have $8000 in total once matched! Promise686 will pay adoption expenses out of the funds received. Promise686 is a non-profit adoption and foster care ministry dedicated to expanding God’s Kingdom by helping to bring the fatherless into Christian homes. If you would like to help:

Please make checks payable to: Promise686, Inc. You may preference how the donation might be used by writing “Garrick Germany Adoption” in the memo section of your check.


(*Note: per IRS guidelines, promise686 maintains complete discretion and control over the use of all donated funds, but intends to honor the donor’s suggested use.)

Mail checks to:

Promise686, Inc
4729 Peachtree Industrial Blvd
Suite 100
Berkeley Lake, GA 30092

Or donate on-line through the Promise686 link: https://connect.clickandpledge.com/w/Organization/Promise686/paymentwidget/dfec0024-0606-46e8-84dd-09a4320b8664


Thank you for investing in the Kingdom through prayer and finances – it will be an investment with an eternal return! (Matt 6:20)

Please pray this entire process will glorify God and fulfill His purposes!

In Christ,

Steven, Christa, Gus and Ruby Claire

To Ransom a Child

This has been a very busy week in our adoption process. I have been emailing constantly with officers at the National Visa Center, then with our Agency, and then emailing back to the NVC. It is one big game of shuffling electronic paperwork and signatures back and forth. I'm grateful for the work these people do getting children to their new families. They are amazing.
Now we are awaiting for more papers to be dropped off and picked up. Once they are we will get an appointment made at the consulate in China and travel approval to leave. We are so close!

I've also contacted Show Hope about how we could serve their ministry during our trip. They sent me a list filled with much needed medical supplies for the care centers that they cannot afford to mail. So, we will be checking a suitcase with these items, and they are arranging for someone to meet us at the airport to get the bag. I feel like this is such a small thing to do in thanks. I feel like nothing will be enough to thank them for what they are and have given to these precious little ones.

On Wednesday I had to go to the bank and withdraw over $5500.00 to wire to Garrick's orphanage. This was the fee for my son's life. This is the one payment that made my whole body shake. This payment made the tellers in the bank cry.
I walked out of the bank feeling like a huge weight had been lifted. I just paid my son's ransom. I cannot imagine how God felt when Jesus proclaimed "It is finished" with his last breath on the cross. It is finished. It is paid. And all that is left is love.

"And in the end, the end is
Oceans and oceans
Of love and love again
We'll see how the tears that have fallen
Were caught in the palms
Of the Giver of love and the Lover of all
And we'll look back on these tears as old tales
'Cause after the last tear falls
There is love" - Andrew Peterson

Our last official update

We received our last official update on Garrick until we go get him in November. This update included his current weight, height, shoe size, pictures and some little facts. His stats are very important as we need to pack him clothes and shoes for once we receive him. He will come to us with the clothes on his back and hopefully the few items we have sent him over the past months.

He loves all kinds of foods, especially pear juice, bananas, and yogurt.  Sounds like he will fit right in with the other little fruit monsters that live here!

We requested that he not be moved from Maria's Big House and back to the orphanage prior to us getting him. But this request was denied. Please pray for our little boy's heart. Maria's is the only safe place he has known for the past 2 years and I know he will not understand why he is leaving or why his family isn't there to get him yet. Pray for my heart because I can't prevent more hurt upon my child.

They mentioned he often looks at the pictures of "his family". I pray through that book God is preparing his heart to receive us and that he would recognize us when he meets us. I pray our attachment will be strengthened quickly and he will feel our love and affection for him. We are under no assumptions that he loves us. Just as with a newborn we will have to meet his needs consistently and show him we are trustworthy and loving over and over again. He will not be like a normal 4 year old who is able to go play or sleep with no fear. He will not be able to stay with a babysitter or a teacher as other kids do (at least until that bond is strong).  Children who come from hard places need a lot of time to learn to trust that they will not be left again. He will need time to learn what a family is and his place in it. 

There will be a lot of emotions that no child his age should have to experience. Pray that God is gracious. Pray that God will help us to be in-tuned to his needs even with a language barrier. Your prayers are so important to us and we value each one.

Look at that face!

We have another 6-8 weeks until we finally get to meet our sweet boy. We cannot wait.