Two Months

Two months ago this week we were in China standing in a brightly-colored room with many other anxious parents-to-be. We all hovered around the door waiting for our children to arrive. As soon as a nanny was spotted holding the hand of a little girl with pigtails, shouts rang out "A little girl is coming!" and in walked a scared little beauty and in just a few seconds she was swept up into her Daddy's arms and she was suddenly a daughter.

 One by one each child arrived slowly, many who had to travel from far distances and took several hours to get there. Exhausted, emotional, hyper, crying, solemn. Each one experiencing loss not for the first time but the second.  The day they were abandoned and now the day they lost everything they have known since that point. So much loss and brokenness mixed with love and hope in one room. 

When Garrick arrived I spotted him right away but could not get to the door through the other families wanting to see if he was their son. All I could do was step back and wait for the crowd to part, saying over and over again "that's my baby". 

The past two years of praying, waiting 8 months for his file, the past year of paperwork, social worker visits, doctor consultations, hours dealing with insurance, 17 grant applications, working everyday but Sunday, endless trips to FedEx, saving every penny, t-shirt sales, garage sales, whatever-it-takes sales. All of it led to this moment:

 Our little man did not hug us or give us kisses, in fact we didn't even get to hold him until after we got on to the bus to go back to the hotel. He smiled at us as he stayed next to his Nanny while she told him we were his Mama and Baba. Then he ran away! There was a slide and play area in our meeting room and he ran to it immediately with not a thought of anything else. I don't even think he ever said "goodbye" to his nanny. The next few hours he played while we signed papers. And then we were on the bus to go back to the hotel as a new family.
The next day he was officially ours.

Receiving our official Adoption Declaration

This was the first moment he willingly let me hold him

Our Travel group

The past two months have been harder than I could have ever imagined. But it also has been so rewarding. Watching Garrick become attached to us- concerned for his siblings, needing his "Mommy" to kiss his boo boos or just to get a hug and kiss, to witness the happiness he expresses each time he sees his "Daddy" is so beautiful. Two months ago he did not notice or care for another child but today I watched him help a little girl up the stairs of the McDonald's play area, helping to lift her up to the places she couldn't reach or warning her "Careful Baby" of areas she could fall into. He continually sought out his brother and sister to see where they were and make sure they were okay. Watching him grow as a person is such a beautiful picture of redemption and I am more than grateful the Lord chose me to witness it.

He continues to make more progress everyday and so have we. God has been doing a work in my own heart and growing my love for Garrick on a daily basis. When my other children were born I had those first months to hold them, and snuggle them, breathe them in and bond with them. It was so natural and easy for that motherly love to fill me up and overflow. But upon adopting a 4-year-old  those things do not come naturally in an instant. I loved Garrick from the moment we decided that he would be our son. But you cannot fall in love with a picture, a picture has no emotion or personality, you must fall in love with the person. These past two months I have intentionally tried to show as much motherly affection towards him as I can... sometimes even when I didn't want to.
Today he came up hugged me and said "I love you Mommy" as he sunk his face into my chest, I breathed in his smell and said "I love you too". "That's my baby"...He became my baby in that moment just as Gus and Ruby Claire have been my babies. I am seeing the bonds of love wrap our hearts together as a mother and son's should and once again I am in awe of God's redemptive beauty.